I went to the Trimet office and told the woman behind the counter about the problem with my bus pass. She instantly traded me for the correct pass and commiserated with me about getting yelled at by bus drivers.
I was fully prepared for it to be a real headache and was super relieved when it turned out not to be! Yay!
Why does Mad + Embarrassed + Public = Crying for me? What a frustrating, useless reaction! If I’m mad and embarrassed in public the last thing I want to do is cry! Then, in a situation where I’m probably already looking pretty stupid, I end up looking even more stupid. Thanks a lot, emotions!
Example:
Yesterday I boarded the bus, like I do every morning and evening. I flashed my bus pass at the driver and started toward a seat when the driver started shouting at me, “Hey! Hey, you! Lady! That pass won’t work!”
I found this really surprising because I have been using the pass twice a day, every day, since the beginning of the July and this was the first I heard that anything was wrong with it. I came back to the front of the bus and asked him what he was talking about.
He said, “That’s a 2-3 zone pass. This is Zone 1. You can’t use that pass, lady.” I looked at the pass and, lo and behold, he was right. Somehow I hadn’t noticed all month that it was the wrong pass.
I said, “Oh, wow. Yeah, I’ve been using this since the beginning of July and I never noticed it was the wrong zones.”
His response: “You can’t use that pass, lady. This is Zone 1.”
So I said: “Yeah, I know it’s Zone 1. I guess I bought the wrong pass. I never go to Zone 3. I only use it in Zones 1 and 2.”
He said, “You’re gonna have to pay extra for an All Zone.”
I could tell my face was starting to get red and I was probably raising my voice a bit. I think it was his constant use of the word lady and the way he was eyeballing me like I was a con artist or something. “Seriously?” I said, “Because I’m only going to Zone 2. I paid for a Two Zone Pass, I just got the wrong one.”
“30 cents” he said.
So I said “fine” and dug in my wallet for change. I dumped a quarter and a nickel in the machine and he tore off a transfer for me. I wouldn’t be getting a transfer if I was just allowed to use my pass, so it struck me as the ultimate insult. He tried to hand it to me and I loudly said “I don’t fucking need it!” and turned to take a seat only to find the whole bus looking at me. As I walked to the very back of the bus I could feel a huge knot forming in my throat.
I spent the rest of the ride pretending to do the crossword and trying to focus on not crying. Why oh why did my body think this was a good time for a cry?! I wasn’t sad! It really was not that big of a deal, and yet I was suddenly sniffling and blinking back tears!
I just don’t understand how this reaction could ever serve me well. I wish I could practice not crying under these sorts of circumstances, but they just don’t occur often enough! I think I’m doomed to never come off as tough and self-possessed and instead conclude every confrontation with blubbering.
Terrible.
Someone signed me up as an Enthusiast Member of the Oregon Brewers Guild, which includes a t-shirt reading S.N.O.B., Supporter of Native Oregon Beer and a bumper sticker, plus a card. Now, I’m not complaining, since it’s true. I’m just wondering who did it.
Jessica, that you? Because if so, thank you!
I wish I could say I did! But, no. Someone else must think you’re a S.N.O.B.
Listening to the She & Him album right now. Cute dress in this photo, and I’ve always wished that I had the right hair to make those cute little mini-beehive-puffs.
They’re rerunning the Terry Gross interview of Zooey Deschanel right now! Turn it on!
I like that album quite a bit… in that “I’m just sitting on the shelf” song (that might not be the name) she says “Why do you edit? Just give me credit”. I really like that line.
Dear US Bank,
Thanks for sending statements printed within .5 mms of the very edge of the paper. Also, thank’s for making that paper almost imperceptably smaller than 8.5”x11”. It’s a fun challenge for the photocopier!
Love, Jessica
Dear Xerox,
I wanted to write and tell you that it’s very clever to have a setting on your copier called “copy to edge” that actually does not copy quite to the edge. Tricky!
Yours Truly, Jessica
Dear People Building my Bosses House,
I would like to commend you for bucking this whole “green” trend and sending samples to our office surrounded in no less than 6 cubic feet of styrofoam packing peanuts! It was fun trying to actually find your products in the enormous box you sent and chasing the static charged peanuts around was a hoot and a half!
Sincerly, Jessica
I’m having really annoying day….
Ugh, I hate smarmy stranger dudes so much! I was walking down the street downtown and a guy who was sitting on the ground stopped me so that he could tell me that “when the wind was blowing half your chest was exposed.” First of all, it’s impossible to reveal anything scandalous in this dress, wind or not. Second, thanks a lot for making me stop so that you could tell me you were looking at my chest. WHY ARE THESE MEN ALWAYS SO COMPELLED TO TALK TO GIRLS?! I hate it, it’s so annoying. I gave him an angry response and walked away.
When I told dalas about it he said, “Don’t worry, one day you will be old.” Apparently being an old lady is the only escape from these creeps!
I THINK I SAW YOU! I was walking up 10th near the library and a girl in a cute dress was walking a little way ahead of me and I thought “that could be Anja verdugo wearing a cute dress!”
Also, agreed on the “WHY ARE THESE MEN ALWAYS SO COMPELLED TO TALK TO GIRLS?!” Several times recently strange men have taken it upon themselves to let me know that they like tall women. Also, I was having lunch with Catherine today and while she was waiting for me some guy decided to stop and tell her that she had “some nice curves”. GROSS.
I wrote a letter to OPB yesterday telling them about how much I hate the BBC’s World Have Your Say. My big problem with it is the poor call screening. The people who call in are often wildly off topic. They don’t have productive things to say and usually they just rant nonsense. I never feel like I’ve gained anything by listening to the show, except maybe a headache.
I just got a reply to my letter:
“World Have Your Say has an extremely loyal and interested audience here in Oregon. In fact, more people from Oregon participate in the program than from any other city in the world! It is part of our effort to provide varied perspectives and styles that range from great local programs like Think Out Loud to important international perspectives.”
I guess the world will continue to have it’s say whether I like it or not. I’ll just listen to something else during that hour. Oh well.