Jessica C.

Animal Abuse

I was just demonstrating some dance moves in the kitchen and accidentally kicked Arthur into the oven. He made a really alarming sort of pinging sound when he hit the metal door.

The thing that sucks about accidentally hurting your pets is that they don’t speak English so it’s impossible to apologize. I can say sorry all I want and Arthur’s still going to be like, “What did I do?! Why did you kick me?! Why don’t you love me?! Whhhhhyyyyyy?!”

The good news is, he has a brain the size of a walnut. He’ll forget about this whole incident in no time.

Good Cat

Arthur always comes when called, but it is clear that it is not because he’s so obedient or loyal or well trained or anything like that. It’s just because he’s curious and he can’t help himself. You can tell it pisses him off, too.

I can sit on my butt and call out, “Yoohoo! Little kitty! Arthur!” and within a few minutes he’ll show up and look at me like, “What? What’s going on? You better not have called me over here for nothing.” So then I grab him and pet him and he’s like, “Uuuuggggghhhh. You dragged me away from staring out the window at birds for this?”

So, then he dashes off and goes back to his little kitty business.

But I can make him come back here any old time I want.

He just can’t help himself.